You'll Wish You Were Me...

Dear all,

Why is it that some days life can be utter rubbish, others, a study in perfection?  Today is one of those splendid days when not only is it warm and sunny, but I am caught up with my laundry.  Perfection.

I was forced to do laundry around the clock this weekend because we were expecting a visit from our landlords who were invited by me to smell the bouquet of our latest home ‘glitch’.  We are suffering from the vexing problem of a basement that smells as if it is well past its Best Before date, not unlike the contents of a container of fish pie that has gone missing in the fridge for a few months.  I thought I’d extend an invitation to our landlords so they, too, could enjoy the pong (smell). 

The laundry was done simply to give the impression that I am not a lazy sloth.

I am well aware that others could look at my life in England and think, gosh, I wish WE could get a sweet deal like they did and leave these Frozen Red and Blue States for someplace a bit more civilized: a place with less snow, less SUVs…less Oprah.   Well, my friends, I am here to tell you life isn’t half bad on the other side of the pond when the sun shines and you have no laundry on the floor.  You should definitely come. 

I admit that part of the thrill at the moment, isn’t that the sun is shining, but has more to do with the fact that I have no laundry.  ‘What a loser,’ you are thinking to yourself.  Well, yes, of course, THAT is part of it, but mostly, I am just so happy I have an electrical dryer.  You know, the kind of dryer that you can’t fold up and tuck behind the door when company comes or the kind that isn’t hung in the back yard and doesn’t subject your neighbors to the sight of your ‘smalls’.  I mean a dryer with a plug.  The kind with a big drum that you put wet clothes into, press a button and they come out dry.   I mean the kind of dryer that dries your clothes even if you live in England and it rains 85% of the time.

My intention here is not to make you envious.  It is just that I simply cannot begin to tell you how this machine has revolutionized my life.  We no longer have laundry hanging all over the house on clotheshorses, in doorways and on the radiators.  Kitchen chairs are used for sitting, not drying laundry.  What it does to soften a towel cannot be described.  Brilliant!  

I had promised to keep my mouth closed about this luxury (which obviously I’m not) because more than one husband I know said he’d really catch it if his wife found out J had indulged me in such a luxury, but I can’t help it.  This dryer makes my heart sing.  I may have a fridge the size of a shoe rack, but, by God, I have an electric dryer.  I may start to write poetry…

We got the dryer months ago after discovering that there are dryers that do not need outside ventilation.  You just have to empty a water container, similar to a dehumidifier.  We got an electrician to pull power into one of our two closets and, bang, just like that, I had a dryer installed.  Like my washing machine, it can only handle 5 shirts at a time, but I don’t mind.  I treat it like a child:  filling it well beyond its capacity and pushing it far beyond its limits.  It likes that.

I’ve thought a lot about it and I’m pretty sure this dryer is the best thing that has ever happened to me.  If you don’t have one, you should really think about getting one.  Maybe for Christmas.  Certainly all the really cool people have them.  I hear that some people actually have a washer and a dryer IN THE SAME ROOM, but for sure, that’s an urban myth.

To celebrate this moment, the simultaneous event of both sun and no laundry, I think I’ll go shoe shopping.  Or read a book, if you are J and you are reading this.

With love from England,

T-Ann