Driving on the Wrong Side of the Road Part 2

Dear all,

In my second and final installment on driving, I would like to delve further into the joys and sorrows of driving on the wrong side of the road.  I have been living in England for so long now, that I get confused when I go home and drive in the US.  Pretty much, in either country, I just like to follow the car in front of me and hope it knows where it’s going.

In England, despite the strict testing and training of drivers, the rules of the road, are really more like guidelines.  One glaring example is that the Brits drive into oncoming traffic.  A lot.

The main reason for driving into oncoming traffic is to snag a parking place before anyone else takes it, which seems perfectly legitimate to me.  Parking is at a premium and no one is going to let a little thing like the threat of a serious accident, prevent them from getting a parking space.  Cars are parked in every which way, including on the sidewalk or perpendicular if it’s convenient.  Looking at the direction of parked cars on a road offers no indication as to the flow of traffic. 

The children’s orthodontist is on a congested road.  The preferred method of parking in that part of town is for one car to park on the sidewalk, another car parallel to it on the street.  If the car on the sidewalk needs to leave before the car on the street, the driver simply proceeds down the sidewalk until he reaches a lane from which he may emerge onto the street.  So what if cars are driving on sidewalks directly across from a grade school?   Those little kids just need to keep a heads up. 

The other legitimate reason for driving into oncoming traffic is if, say, you want to drop groceries off in front of your home (houses don’t come with garages conveniently attached), but you happen to be driving on the opposite side of the road.  Or you see a friend across the way with whom you’d like to chit-chat. There is no need to go around the block and pull up in front of the house or person.  You simply pull into oncoming traffic and park (as a courtesy to other drivers, but not to pedestrians, you pull onto the sidewalk, forcing moms with young children or the elderly to walk into the street to get around you). 

You can’t just fly down the street in the manner of a drunk driver.  There is a subtle art it.  In order to NOT to frighten oncoming traffic, you mustn’t jerk the car over quickly or swerve.  Instead, you must drive confidently into oncoming traffic for quite a distance before pulling slightly to the right and jumping the curb.  Driving half on the sidewalk and half on the road into oncoming traffic is the universal signal that says:  I-mean-you-no-harm-I-simply-want-to-catch-up-with-an-old-friend-or-drop-off-my-potted-plants-thank-you-very-much.  Often this snarls traffic, but no one minds or shouts obscenities. Very civilized.

Maybe the Brits are higher up Maslov’s hierarchy of needs than we are? 

We live on a fairly busy road.  There are pedestrians of all sorts:  elderly people with elderly dogs, university students, and children on their way to school.  Consider that there are bicyclists, double-decker busses, cars and that vicious old lady in her electric wheelchair all sharing the road, swerving around illegally parked cars and quinces that R tosses into the street.  No one cares that you are driving straight at ‘em.  Ever.  It is amazing.

Last October when I was back in the US, I was at an unfamiliar and unusual intersection.  I could go straight or turn left, soft right, or hard right.  I wanted to make a ‘soft’ right hand turn. I was the first car in my turn lane, so I couldn’t simply follow the car in front of me.  While waiting at the light, I took a moment to access the situation and verify exactly which lane I needed to turn into.  The light turned green and I drove, without hesitation, into a turning lane of oncoming traffic. 

If ever you are feeling like your life holds no thrills, I urge you to drive into oncoming traffic at a busy intersection in the US.  One moment I was tearing up to a John Denver song playing on satellite radio in the rental car and the next moment I was witnessing looks of horror on the faces of all the drivers I passed.  Their attempts to communicate my error were both animated and surprisingly easy to decipher. 

In one beat of my heart, I became very aware of every hair follicle on my head and neck and every sweat gland in my body.  I was alive!  I was awake! I was in need of fresh undergarments! 

By the grace of God there were no cars heading towards me and I was eventually able to swing into the proper lane.  Because there was so much traffic in the opposite direction, this took what seemed like miles.  I pulled over, parked the car and shook for about a half an hour.  And sometimes people wonder why coming home for visits can be stressful…

I’d just like to say that as frenetic as driving in England is, it suits me just fine.  Sure it is startling to see people reversing down a street at 30 mph, but they are only doing that as a courtesy to allow another driver to get through a blocked road.  You see, what inevitably happened is that Mrs. Smith was out clipping her roses when the vicar drove by and he stopped to congratulate Mrs. Smith on her daughter’s recent engagement.  As it does, a five-minute discussion ensued (date, dress, flowers, etc) and other drivers were forced to reverse or drive onto sidewalks to pass.  No road rage.  Everyone knows one day THEY’LL be the one who wants to talk with the vicar while he is passing down the street.  In this country you just need to leave plenty of time.  And if you don’t and you are late for an appointment, that’s fine, too.

Lastly, I’d like to point out the one thing the UK does take very seriously is speeding.  England has, last I counted, 5 trillion speed cameras.  They are everywhere, all knowing and without any sense of compassion.  Twice I have gotten a speeding ticket, once going a WHOPPING 4 mph over.  Between fines and points on your license, you pay dearly. Ask J.   J, is one ticket away from losing his license altogether because he has been caught by speed cameras so many times (please refer to my previous entry for further details on how I encourage him to slow down).

With love from England,

T-Ann