June 8, 2008

Good morning,

We are basking in the glory of a breathtaking summer day in Cheltenham.  Yesterday's rain was one of the most depressing days yet.  Cold rain has no place in June.  It was so soggy that even my umbrella couldn't keep up.  After a walk to school and back in the morning, my umbrella began running its red dye over my light colored linen dress. 

This dress is cursed.  I wore it recently in Florida, walked through a parking lot and was met by a wall of rain.  It came from nowhere and I was drenched.  I raced along hugging the outside wall of CVS until I reached the front doors.  They wouldn't open.  I'm banging on the doors and the cashier inside was gesturing that I should step back a few paces and enter the automatic doors directly from the front, not from the side.  Funny thing though, in the pouring rain, I wasn't in the mood for charades so I continued to pound until a customer walked up to activate the automatic doors and let me in. I was drenched and thanking the man when I looked around and realized everyone was staring at my dress, which had become ENTIRELY transparent.  And clingy.

I’d like, if I may, to say a word or two about thong underwear.   While I am no stranger to Bridget Jones undies, there is a time when less is more. My friend, Cindy, who has given me spot on advice for thirty years (‘Omigod, T, put on your seatbelt!’), told me I should buy a thong one size too large.  For obvious reasons, I will be forever grateful to Cindy for sharing her wisdom. However, in terms of coverage, going up the one size didn’t do too much for me, as I was standing there in CVS essentially naked.  I ran for cover, crouched and dodging in and out of aisles, avoiding people-I did have to apologize to one old man in the toothpaste aisle- until I had the good fortune to find myself hiding behind an end cap of cheap bathrobes.  In perfect Lucy and Desi form, when J found me, (he had been in Dunkin Donuts procuring large amounts of coffee to bring back to England.), I was standing in the cough syrup aisle, dripping wet, wearing a fluffy purple bathrobe. We laughed so hard I nearly wet my pants, which obviously wouldn't have mattered much, anyway.)

So the fact that my umbrella was slowly ruining my dress was just the way the whole day went, culminating with a late afternoon conference with R's English teacher who, as they do, started off by presenting R's positive qualities particularly noting that R was really more of a math and science guy and (with great enthusiasm) that R, in his recent exams, did an outstanding job using capital letters and punctuation.  Hmmm. Seeing as R is TWELVE; you'd rather think he'd have a grip on those matters. It was going to be a painfully long conference.  But in the light of a whole new bright, perfect English day, I'll give my red floral umbrella, linen dress and R another chance.

With love from England,

T-Ann