June 25, 2008

Dear all,

Grab a jacket; Hell hath frozen over, I’m afraid. Yes, the one thing I was most passionate about when we moved to England (aside from how we were going to source Skippy peanut butter), indeed one of the “terms” of my agreement to move here, was that no British dentist would ever lay one old fashioned instrument into the mouths of my children. We would fly home for our dental needs. When I bit down on a chunk of glass in a restaurant at Christmastime (Dining out here is maddening.  Either you are biting down on shards of glass, or the food, service and price make you feel as if you are), I waited until we were home in March to have my tooth x-rayed.  Arguably, this was a bit over the top. But, I will tell you; it is intensely gratifying to cling to my outdated American notions of British dentistry.  Secretly, I enjoy looking at bad British teeth knowing that American dentistry is far superior.  This thought, then, encourages me to reinforce in my tiny mind, the US’s overall dominance.  (If I am honest with you, though, it’s obvious that my need to look down on the Brits’ teeth is just my insecure way of over compensating for the crushing and internationally humiliating fact that Bush was elected twice.)  My friend, Mark, recently watched a BBC show in the US called, ‘Britain’s Worst Teeth’. Undoubtedly, good television.  So, anyway, no dentist in this country was touching our teeth. As is so often the case when I start to feel all smug and satisfied, I am compelled to guiltily slink back into reality. M is now sporting braces, English style.  Every bit the railroad tracks we saw back home in the 70’s.  Never mind.  M will thank me for overcoming my prejudice when he is out of braces before he turns 16 and not into them when he is 18, back in the US.   So, I’ve learned my lesson, no doubt about it.  I will embrace all that the Brits have to offer.  Well, I think it goes without saying, I won’t eat runny baked beans for breakfast, but, GENERALLY speaking, if it is good enough for them, it will be good enough for us.

That being said, for the record, I want to make one thing clear:  I do not put these feet in stirrups for ANYONE who does not hold a license to practice medicine in the USA.

With love from England,

T-Ann