May 18, 2006

Hello, Everyone!

Its a sad and rainy day here as Sir Paul McCartney and
his wife Heather announced that they will be
separating and working toward a quicky divorce. No
prenup. EVERYONE told him to get one. Lots of
chattering going on about this. "Can you believe, NO
PRENUP?" A much bigger story than the Queen's 80th
birthday. At 80 years of age, its hard to villanize
the Queen. Heather on the other hand...To cheer
myself up, I bought a beautiful bouquet of pink
peonies, the sun came out and I think I'm over it all
now. Whew!

We enjoyed a visit to Bath last weekend. Touring the
ancient Roman baths that were built almost 2,000 years
before Christ was born (I think. Aidan was kind of
distracting) was an amazing experience. You can drink
some water that has been filtered (it tastes awful)
and, if you disregard the signs telling you NOT to
touch the water, you can reach into the bath itself
and feel its warmth. I was really thrilled with the
whole day until we went to a pub for lunch and just
before we ate, I got this horrifying vision of all
these gross, naked, hairy Italian men all packed in
there taking a steamy bath. It almost ruined my lunch
(the fish and chips were too good, though)! Anyway,
the Roman Baths will never be the same for me. Glad I
could share...

Overall, we are doing well adjusting. Writing checks,
buying gas and slowly realizing that an umbrella is
crucial even if it's hot and sunny are things that I
never thought I'd ever have trouble learning. I
always seem to be at the mercy of shop owners and
others to help me out. I had to leave my pride back
in the States, it seems! Easily the biggest
adjustment is the culture at the school.

I want to preface all this by reminding everyone that
the kids attend a VERY traditional school. This is a
school that even the British consider conservative,
so not all British schools would be like this. Having
said this, I sometimes wonder what world we've stepped
into!! Cheltenham College is in the business of
churning out well educated, well rounded ladies and
gentlemen. They are extremely strict about some
things. Children must be well groomed. They think
it's very important that the little boys not let their
itchy wool socks droop at their ankles. Pushing up
the sleeves of your hot sweater (it's gotten in the
upper 70's here) is not tolerated. The girls must
have their hair pulled back and nothing but silver or
gold studs in their ears. The kids jump up and stand
at attention when an adult enters the room (LOVE THIS!
We've tried implementing this policy at home but with
some pretty pathetic results). Boys and girls are
quite segregated in terms of lack of group projects,
playing at recess, sports, etc., so there is a marked
drop in maturity levels in dealing with the opposite
sex compared to their counterparts back home. This is
particularly difficult for Michael and Siobhan who are
used to sharing a ton friends and having a full house
all the time. The teachers can yell, call kids names
and even hitting (while frowned upon) will not get you
fired. Of course not all teachers are like this.
They have some amazing teachers. The kind they make
movies about! What they are completely lax about is
supervision. The kids are not supervised for 45
minutes at recess (even if it is indoors due to bad
weather). They are unsupervised during the changing
times before and after gym. Kids can get bullied
during these times and it is considered a part of
growing up. I mean SERIOUS bullying. Again, it is
not condoned, but I had a teacher in the senior school
tell me (after I told her I was appalled by this) that
she didn't understand what I meant. How could
children work out their problems if adults were
present? She could not believe that I could have a
problem with this. HUGE cultural difference. Hard to
wrap my head around it. So you'll get in trouble if
your tie is crooked or your socks have fallen down,
but on the playground there is no adult to monitor
behavior. Wow. It is truly a different world from
what we are used to. I had a highly charged meeting
with the headmaster regarding this. He was
sympathetic and I do believe he is trying to solve
these problems (he recognizes them as problems) but
his hands are tied in some ways. There is HUGE
partental support for this kind of education and that
is why little has changed in the 170(?) years of the
school.

The flip side to this is that the kids really learn!
They are held to high standards. They take Latin
(Siobhan only this term), French, chemistry, physics,
math, English, geography. And the kids are even
realizing the benefits of uniforms (for instance our
kids look just like the kids getting out of the
Maserati in the morning!) Siobhan likes the fact that
there are minimal distractions in the classroom. It
allows her to concentrate. Where did she come from?
Jim and I both donated the "too much fun" gene, not
"overachiever" gene. Somehow one must have snuck in
from my mom's side.

By the way, I was at the travel agent trying to book
our "half term" holiday. We'll need to take the kids
out of school one day. The agent told me I had better
get permission from the Headmaster before I take the
kids out! "You've got to be kidding!", I shrieked.
Nope. Had to go in, ask permission and was told that
they do not condone such behaviour, but because I
didn't know any better, they'd allow it this time.
They can fine you! Unbeliveable. Makes me want to
take the kids out early every holiday. Without
asking. Can't wait til next time: all four kids will
have the flu...

The parents I have been meeting are wonderful. Most
are very down to earth, funny and welcoming.
Occassionally, I find myself in a conversation that
starts something like this, "Isn't it hard to find
good staff these days?". I think," Why, yes it is.
I've been looking for my staff for years. Never found
them." The best was when one woman was telling me
(she was truly sincere) that she is amazed that she
keeps her staff busy eight hours a day cooking,
cleaning and doing laundry. Hmm. Very sincerely I
replied, " I certainly CAN imagine!"

Aidan visited his nursery at Cheltenham College this
week. He'll start a couple mornings in the fall. He
did pretty well! He let me leave, but did start to
cry about half way into it. I've been trying to say
things like "lorrie" instead of "truck and "garden"
instead of "yard" so Aidan can better understand his
new friends and teachers here. Last week, we put his
shoes on and he went out to play in the garden. When
I came out, he was standing in one of our raised beds
among the flowers. I asked what he was doing. He
said,"But you told me to play in the garden!" The
only time he's EVER done what I asked!

Lastly, I ask that you keep my cousin, Dan
Prindiville's daughter, Michelle, in your prayers.
She was diagnosed with a brain tumor on Monday. There
are more questions than answers right now, but it does
appear to be operable.

Hugs to all!

T